My Mother Reads Me…To Filth
I am speechless. This is Mom’s response to my post about her not reading my blog, and it’s magical:
THIS IS NOT YOUR MOTHER MARY: but the other side (the guy side), Tuff Mudder. Now I need you to listen carefully. You are too naive. When a goucho’ pumps your butt you bend over to reach something on the back of the counter…..this lets ‘m know you are just as hard as he is and had to quickly pull your boner away from smashing into the counter. Be aloof not like nose in the air but like ahhh I got it and liked it. Keep on the move. You never let HIM know you are going upstairs personally, make it public but near him so he hears you. He’ll get it. Now the damn unzipping thing is a biiiig mistake…toooo eager, you’re worth more. He stopped you just in time so you wouldnt find the truth right then……the real PACKAGE under his whitie tighties was a perfectly shaped zuckini, sorry james maybe next time. You keep trying my son. LOVE YA.
This truly made me happy. And a little embarrassed, but I deserved it. Leave it to Mom to throw the filthy in my face and still make me feel loved.