February 2012
47 posts
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Coupeville's Mussel Fest Kicks Off Early Spring... →
For anyone who lives in Western Washington, I urge you to take a day trip to Whidbey Island to celebrate the almighty mussel. Penn Cove was once home to Lower Skagit tribes who used the protected harbor for its abundance of fresh seafood like salmon, clams, mussels, flounder, sole, and cockles. Around the 1850s some white dude and his friends paddled into town. A little drama ensued (like...
Standing In Line
Jazz and I were standing in line to order our food when some man cut in front of us.
“So I’m new to this place. How do you order,” he asked while fumbling with the menu. He was in his 40’s and gay. He had a crew cut and tan skin and those eyes that were wide like they loved adventure but baggy because they were up all night sucking on that adventure. He started flirting with me. The fact...
WatchOne last stop before dropping Jazz off at the airport: In N’ Out burger. He’s buying 2 extra for his fiancé back in Seattle. We’ll see if they make it past security.
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Watch Soul train in Venice, CA.
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Have You Seen Jay Jay?
It was the summer of ’95 and I had to make a very important decision before starting my freshman year of high school: was I going to be a punk and dye my hair green like Billie Joe Armstrong or was I going to be gangster and rock khakis like Snoop? You had to choose one or the other because only dorks dressed normal and there was no way I was going to commit social suicide my freshman year....
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Clogs
My boy Jazz is coming to visit for the weekend so I’ve been trying to get everything in order, like making sure the drain in the tub is un-clogged. The plumbing at my place is so old that even a pubic hair can cause the pipes to clog so at least twice a year I have to call my landlord and have him send over a plumber with the snake.
Calling Mr. Prinz is always such a process. I have to...
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Watch The other night before paying the 5 bucks to enter Plaza we asked the doorman, “What night is tonight?” As much fun as we had the first time, we didn’t want another night of lesbians and female strippers. After he told us it was impersonators, Sweet D wanted to clarify and asked, “So they’re MEN dressed as woman because that’s all we’re interested in.” When the doorman nodded we both looked...
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Ladyboy
One of the most ancient creation tales in Thailand is of a man and woman who had three children: a male, a female and a third sex. This third sex is considered by many Thais to be the ladyboy, or katoey.
A ladyboy is a man who chooses to live as a woman. This can mean anything from a guy who wears drag every once in a while, right through to transsexuals who have had a complete sex...
Karma Is A Beast →
A former Coupeville dermatologist who recently made headlines for domestic violence was killed early Sunday morning in a gruesome accident near Deception Pass Bridge.
Donald “Russell” Johnson, 53, was thrown from his car after crashing it into a rock embankment and was run over by the trooper who had been pursuing him for speeding and reckless driving.
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“We stood for equality and we did it together. Republicans and Democrats, Gay and...”
– Governor Christine Gregoire, who just signed a bill into law to make Washington the 7th state to embrace the freedom to marry… Come on rest of the country, you don’t want to be last in line. That’s so not American.
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WatchEvery night before bed Grandma Judy takes a handful of pills. I had her explain what each one does…
Done With Downward Dog
Receptionist: Why are you ending your membership?
Me: The voices in my head are too loud for yoga.
Receptionist: [looking at me like I'm an idiot, not a crazy person but an idiot] Sign here.
NOTE: Before I went in I thought of a million reasonable excuses to tell him: I'm moving to Yakima, Wa. or I found a personal yoga instructor. But the truth is that I could never fully detach myself from all the ruckus going on in my head and just breathe. Maybe I'll give it another go later on down the road when things aren't so chaotic but until then I'd rather spend my 100 bucks a month on Ritz crackers and summer sausage.
Blushing Belarusian Bride
She sat alone at the table across from the bar. She was model pretty. Her hair was full and pulled over one shoulder. Her skin was the color of oak and she had the cutest little ski-jump shaped nose. She was not shy about staring at me. As I shook the martini tin over my head I wondered what it’d be like to marry a girl like that.
Once she paid her bill she got up and walked straight...
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Ajumma Power
Sweet D has successfully passed her T.E.F.L. course and is now finishing up her practicum. Once she logs all her hours she’ll be certified and one step closer to getting on that plane and heading to Korea to teach English.
Like any smart and well rounded person, Sweet D likes to research as much as she can about the country she’s planning on traveling to living in. I’ve been trying to...
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Watch
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January 2012
41 posts
Just Another Field Fire
Dad didn’t like us lighting fireworks because we were surrounded by fields of dry grass. He had seen enough of his children start 4th of July fires to know that it’s just not worth it. So when he left to go shopping and on his ride, we knew we had about 2 hours free to light bottle rockets.
Instead of shooting the rockets out of a PVC pipe straight into the sky like we normally did, we...
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