We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief...– David Sedaris (Naked)
Dirty Little Moles
I personally can’t wait to be old. I love the crow’s feet cracking around my eyes, I think it’s a sign of wisdom (that’s what I’m telling myself anyway). I am losing my hair though and it’s killing me! My friends tell me not to worry about it and if need be, just shave it off. I can’t. I have Moliosis (a term, which I coined, when you have an obscene amount of moles all over your body) and if I...
Day 35: 25 de Julio
95daysofsummer2010: Mi amigo Andy (Day 11) tomó esta foto, la idea y el concepto son de él, así que para nada nos inspiramos en el último post de Jimnasium. You can’t find dirty bars like that in Los Angeles… I miss New York… Well, I was there for 3 days six years ago, but whatever. I remember walking out of any subway and immediately getting dwarfed by the surroundings. I...
Gulf of Mexico Has Long Been a Sink of Pollution →
Now that the oil on the surface appears to be dissipating, the notion of a recovery from the spill, repeated by politicians, strikes some here as short-sighted. The gulf had been suffering for decades before the explosion of the Deepwater Horizon rig on April 20.
Hey baby! Momma’s commin’. Oh, you’re such a good girl!– My new neighbor in Apt 6 to her dog. I heard keys jingling so I looked out the peep hole like a pervert. She was with her hot boyfriend and they had just gotten home from the gym. No new gay neighbors for me. Just a healthy pair of breeders.
Tug On Mis Juevos
I finally had some quality time with Louie. Since I’ve been seeing The Latino, I haven’t had the chance to hang out with him. So we met up around 10:30 last night to have a quick drink at my place before heading out. We were being stoopid and shit. I love how there’s always something happening in WeHo. We got to witness straight girls gasping over the “Human Chandelier” (one gay tugging on another...
One Month To Memorize
Last night went well. I hadn’t seen The Latino in over a week, so I was a little nervous because normally at this point in a relationship I like to start finding ways to end it. Anyways, we arranged to meet outside his apartment by the side door. Well, there are 2 side doors. I stood at one and waited. Through the dark I saw a guy standing on what seemed to be a balcony. He was staring at me. I...
My Friends Have Been Working Hard
meganlubaszka: The past month, this family has been staying with my sister and I in our tiny apartment as they desperately wait to raise funds to pay for a life-saving liver transplant for 8-month-old Baby Daniel who suffers from bilary atresia (his body is filling up with bile as the liver can’t process it. He also cannot have any pain medication so he feels everything). We met Ilda and...
After some research, Chapman discovered the... →
This is why both war and on-line dating are bad! The story ended with, “This guy is just trying to make a buck off of everybody’s heart. Crappy bastard.”
Lemon Herb Testicles
I just got off the phone with The Latino. We’re meeting up tonight for dinner. I’m meeting him around 10 p.m. Dinner isn’t served at that hour; sex is. He said that he’s been craving the sauce I put in the lemon herb chicken that I made 2 weeks ago. “It takes too long to make,” I told him (well, it actually takes Manny at work 5 minutes to throw the sauce together because that’s...
Vacation Bible schools begin in July! →
This is the title of an article in the Whidbey News Times, my Mom’s local paper. How much fun does that sound?! Vacation Bible Schools… Can’t grasp it. I really don’t think vacation and Bible should be mentioned in the same sentence. Dr. O told me that the Catholic church claims that if they can “shape” you for 5 years, they’ll have you for the rest of...
Have you become the creepy old man at the party who stands in the corner taking...– Me, asking one of my alter egos. The conversation lasted for about an hour and now I have a headache.
My only advice to you is don’t ask about the return policy.– Adelle, giving me some pointers about adoption.
Two very attractive men (mid 30’s) just unloaded a mattress from a Toyota truck and carried it into the apartment next door. I’m praying it wasn’t just two bros unloading the heavy things while their chicks stay at home wrapping dishware in newspaper. I want more gays in the neighborhood! I met my first gay neighbor the other night. I was helping my friends unload their car when...
My Friend: A profession that works at night. Starting with the letter “B.”
My Friend: That’s not a word. What does it mean?
Me: In England, they call people who perform on the street “buskers.”
My Friend: Bullshit. Prove it. Look it up.
Me: (I’ve only got a small Spanish/English translation dictionary, and busker was not in it) Oh, they must have skipped over it.
My Friend: Yeah, a dictionary that skips over words. Nice try.
Me: I’m looking it up online. (minutes later) Ha! Found it! It says: chiefly British, a person who entertains in a public place for donations. You know… What do we call those people in the U.S.?
My Friend: Homeless or trouble.
I was the designated driver, so I only had 3 beers and 2 glasses of wine.– My Brother, reminding me why my family has a notorious relationship with DUIs.
“What about your father, how does he feel about your sexuality?” Dr. O asked. “He passed away 2 years ago,” I said. Dr. O has been dealing with gay patients for a long time. In fact, he says he’s one of the first shrinks to explore the gay community. I can only assume that the question that came out of his mouth next was from years of experience: “Were you relieved when your Dad died?” My eyes...
Penelope Cruz Knows Best
3 years ago as I flew back to L.A. after visiting my family for Thanksgiving, I sat on the plane massaging my neck. My entire body ached from the intense jaw grinding during the sleepless nights in my old bed. I’d lay there, going over in my head all these imaginary ways my family was judging me, and then I’d think of ways to defend myself. It was exhausting! So by the time I left, my vacation was...
It’s 1:15 a.m. My new neighbor just left their apartment carrying what sounded like a chopped off head in a paper bag. I think I smell a suspect.
Rainbows In Harlem
I’ve been following this guy on his journey through New York. Not the dude in the red shirt in the pic, but 95daysofsummer2010. East Harlem is so colorful.
Beverly Hills police officers aided by Santa... →
Shit! There’s a killer on the loose in Beverly Hills! I moved here from Venice hoping to escape the killers. Oh well, I guess you’re never safe. Now I find myself looking at every 5’8” man and running. Last night I was walking to my car and a neighbor, who filled the description, waved to me. I got startled and ran. I hate being nervous. This weekend, some close friends are...
Last week, while laying in his asshole full of jizz, The Latino asked if I wanted to join him and his visiting 15-year-old nephew on a trip to Magic Mountain. Maybe he was feeling generous and inviting, but either way he asked that I joined them on a trip to the roller coaster capital of the world. So I blocked all other plans for Magic Mountain on Wednesday. Well, yesterday I called him and he...
Gay, Fag, Retarded
audreylynne: I hate it when people use those words to describe something stupid. It really gets on my nerves. Don’t be foolish and don’t be an idiot. I totally agree. BUUUUUT there is a thin line between retarded and gay. How many times have you questioned someones sexuality and then found out they were really just retarded? It happens to me all the time. He’s so nice and laughs at...