January 2011
93 posts
Stuck
When my phone vibrates and I look and see that it’s a text from my Mom, I don’t read it right away because I know that there are 5 to 6 more texts on their way. Minutes later, once the phone has stopped vibrating, I’ll read her short essay.
Her latest was about how she couldn’t get out of the recliner. She had leaned back so far that the chair was horizontal. We’ve all been there...
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You don't have to give in and fall for nothing: I... →
niquelejon:
So in this blog, I’m really going to take it there. Usually, I would be somewhat nervous or afraid to post something like this, because I would be afraid of what my friends might think of me. Up until maybe a week ago, I wanted to post something that might have said, I am Gay, rather than I used to be gay. But, since then I have had a change of heart.
Holy testicle! If you have...
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Fat Squirrel
My younger brother is trying to organize a family camping trip for this summer. I used to love the family camping trips. There’s nothing more liberating than being in the woods with nature… One time my older brother and I were trying to catch the campsite squirrel. We’d seen him earlier near the fire pit and then again scurrying across the picnic table. He was thick and juicy— we wanted...
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Caving Windows
I had my first post-30 anxiety attack. I was driving West on the 10 freeway, about to exit Lincoln Blvd when I had a flashback. 7 years ago I was taking the same exit to visit the same friends. In a split second I felt the windows cave in and my lungs inhaled shards of glass. I asked myself, “What has changed since then?” I was in the same car. I was still single. I was still a waiter....
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“Spare a dollar?”
– Homeless man in Beverly Hills.
A dollar?! What happened to “spare some change?” What’s to blame? Inflation? The location? Does this officially mark the end of the recession? I think it’s just beginning.
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Willy Crack Corn And I Don't Care
I was having dinner at The Canal Club in Venice with my ladies when I heard over my shoulder, in a deep southern accent, “Jim, is that you?” I turned around and standing at the table was an old roommate. I barely recognized him. His once toned and buffed body was now chubby and bloated. As I looked at him standing there in front of me, a slew of old, dark emotions come whirling back. I lived...
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Behave (A Text Conversation)
Older Gay Hank: I must confess. I thought u were completely handsome and adorable. Too shy to say it to you last night.
Me: (wiping the crust out of my eye) Thanks.
O.G.H: Are you at the airport already?
Me: No. I missed my flight. I had to get a later flight.
O.G.H.: Cool. I wish I could have a hug and a kiss before you go.
Me: Haaaank, behave.
O.G.H: OK sorry. It doesn't hurt for the B-day to try!
Me: Amen to that.
O.G.H.: Everyone's still a sleep... Ok ok, sorry, still trying.
NOTE: This is the text conversation I had at 8 a.m. with Hank, the older gay I met while having brunch at Rosie's. We met him and his partner of 14 years when they came over to say Thank You to Sweet D after she sent a Birthday Bucket of Micky Ultras to his table. Hank and his partner were cute, fun, and seemed completely happy. I never got the cheating vibe. But maybe that's why they're happy: an open relationship. Is that the only way to have a lasting relationship in the gay community: by fucking monogamy?
Behave (A Text Conversation)
Older Gay Hank: I must confess. I thought u were completely handsome and adorable. Too shy to say it to you last night.
Me: (wiping the crust out of my eye) Thanks.
O.G.H: Are you at the airport already?
Me: No. I missed my flight. I had to get a later flight.
O.G.H.: Cool. I wish I could have a hug and a kiss before you go.
Me: Haaaank, behave.
O.G.H: OK sorry. It doesn't hurt for the B-day to try!
Me: Amen to that.
O.G.H.: Everyone's still a sleep... Ok ok, sorry, still trying.
NOTE: This is the text conversation I had at 8 a.m. with Hank, the older gay I met while having brunch at Rosie's. We met him and his partner of 14 years when they came over to say Thank You to Sweet D after she sent a Birthday Bucket of Micky Ultras to his table. Hank and his partner were cute, fun, and seemed completely happy. I never got the cheating vibe. But maybe that's why they're happy: an open relationship. Is that the only way to have a lasting relationship in the gay community: by fucking monogamy?
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“It may seem to you that I am in a place where I’m losing the direction of...”
– Shakira, “Did It Again.” She’s being played everywhere in Miami, which is fine by me. This song was on and I couldn’t help but to relate hard core.
I Do... and Don't
After Sweet D treated me to a delicious Birthday dinner at Prime One Twelve, we went to a multi-layered gay bar called Twist. As I stood at the bar, drinking a Corona, I watched a handsome gay do his thing on the dance floor. He was dancing alone, which to me is one of the most attractive things in el mundo. He eventually saw me creepin’ and came over to talk to me. Even hotter. He had puppy...
THE SIGN OF THE ROOSTER
I was born in 1981, the year of the Rooster. I don’t know how accurate this description is:
Roosters are very loyal individuals. They do not like dishonesty or mockery of any sort. They are blunt, up front and honest people and expect those around them to be the same. Roosters are happiest when they are surrounded by others, at a party or just a social gathering. They even enjoy the...
