Last night Ron Ron treated me to a nice dinner at one of his favorite restaurants. It was to thank me for helping with Halloween, and oil me up for Christmas, which we were talking about before the appetizers even dropped (the burrata/heirlooms melted in my mouth). I often judge how nice a place is not from the prices, but by the bathroom. This one had a lot of marble and copper, which is something I never saw growing up, so I affiliate it with money. Actually, that’s not true, I did see a lot of copper pipes as Dad was a plumber, and he’d tell me how people often steal/strip a house of its copper in order to sell it. So yeah, money.
Our table was sandwiched between two others. On our right were two women. Maybe in their 30s and dressed like they have hip jobs at marketing companies. We paid no attention to them. On our left, however, were two men. One was older, maybe in his 70s, well-dressed, and wearing a wedding ring. He didn’t say much and left the talking to his guest; a good looking man with sparkling brown eyes, in his late 30s/early 40s, also well dressed but NOT wearing a wedding ring. We were in the heart of WeHo, so was this a Sugar Daddy situation? Or a bi/married man looking for discrete NSA fun? When someone stopped by the table to say hello to the younger guy, he introduced the older man as his father visiting from Florida. Oh, so it’s a real daddy. Makes sense. It wasn’t long before we were all talking, and yes, the son was gay, well, he didn’t say it directly but indirectly when he mentioned how Lisa Vanderpump’s pomeranian, Giggy, suffers from alopecia. Ron Ron and I fought over which one of us he was more interested in, and were neck and neck until about the time dessert arrived. Little did we know the tiny, fluffy ball of cheesecake we ordered was scolding hot inside. Ronnie shoveled a bite in his mouth and just as he was reaching over to warm me, I popped one in just as quickly. It was like sucking on a blacksmith’s rod, immediately forming blisters on the roof of my mouth. We both sat there panting, mouths agape, waving our hands in front of it trying to get as much cold air in as possible. That’s about when the gentleman next to us decided to call it a night and leave. We sat there laughing for a good ten minutes, until the burning stopped, then we cried.