JIMNASIUM

     She hasn’t really filled me in on how teaching is going, but I’d much rather hear about what’s going on outside the classroom anyway. Chalkboards and grammar make me sleepy but hairy pits and closet cases keep me awake.

     Hell yeah licking armpits is fucking well sexy. I actually prefer them after a long day of working— that manly smell is pure sex to me, along with the taste of whiskey and cigarettes in a man’s mouth, nothing makes me hotter. And I support you on hairy asses. I finally got laid in Phuket a month ago and the guy was Turkish, always my go to nation if you want to have dirty drunk sex. Turkish men never disappoint. He was super hairy, back and chest and ass and all and I totally loved it.

     Oh, so I totally think my friend B is a closeted gay. He’s like 24/25, super tall and skinny, really funny but also has low self esteem and a little awkward at times. He and our other friend Natasha have been super close for like a year, sleeping in the same bed but never hooking up, until recently. After the motorcycle accident they finally had sex and I think it was just because she’s been taking care of him and he felt like he owed it to her. She’s been telling me how awkward the sex has been though; apparently he has a super big dick. But I feel so bad because she really loves him and I really think he’s gay. He’s like in love with Mike, who’s been gone travelling for the last two months and as soon as Mike came back B lit up and has been spending all his time with him. Mike is dating Marla and B is supposedly dating Natasha but I’m pretty sure he’s closing his eyes and picturing Mike every time they hook up.

     Tonight Natasha told me how much she is falling for him and I just smiled and nodded and listened. He called her to ask if she was still cooking dinner because he wanted to go eat dinner with Mike instead. She was in the middle of sautéing shrimp and B was a dutiful boyfriend and came home to eat fajitas with his beard. Kicking himself the whole time I’m sure.  God knows what I say to him on those nights I’m blacked out and popping MDMA like candy. He’s still speaking to me so far, so here’s keeping my fingers crossed that I don’t out him one night during a bender. He’s the one who “accidently” almost got butt raped over ecstasy that one time. Natasha saved him by calling him and barging into the room. I’m not talking shit, I really like both of them. Natasha is an awesome girl and he is an awesome guy and they have what will be the best hag/fag friendship ever. I just wish they knew it was that.

     Shit, gotta go. Class is starting.

     Xoxoxoxo ddddddd