I flew the always comfortable and oh-so affordable Southwest. Why doesn’t Virgin America fly to Fayetteville yet? I had missed my boarding call because I was in the bathroom wiping the grease off my forhead in the chance I’d sit next to a cutie. Unfortunately by the time I boarded the only available seat was between 2 grandmothers. I made the mistake of saying no when one of them asked if I was a Christian which led to an hour long sermon. At one point she drew a picture of two dashes separated by a cross. On the right dash she wrote “God” and the left dash was blank. She asked me, “Where are you in your life?” I didn’t know how to answer using her diagram so I took the paper from her and drew my own. It was a straight line with the number 0 written at one end and 72 at the other end. Somewhere in the middle I drew a dash and wrote 31. “That’s where I’m at,” I said and then put on my neck pillow and fell asleep. When I woke up I was in the Bible Belt.